When it comes to relationships, people always say to follow your heart. But is that really what it’s all about? While relationships indeed involve deep emotions and feelings of affirmation, they should not solely focus on the spark. You date someone because they have the potential to be your lifelong partner, so it’s only crucial to find someone that will make your life happy.
So take some time to ask yourself about the characteristics you’re looking for in a partner. It might seem easy because you probably want someone kind, funny, and intelligent like most. But did you know that a partner has specific traits to look for to ensure a happy and toxic-free relationship? Let’s talk about this further below.
Traits to Look for in A Partner
Before you choose a partner, it’s important to release yourself from the harmful tendencies of your past. Think about the people you’ve dated below and why those relationships didn’t work out. Were you unconsciously attracted to jealous, controlling, possessive, or manipulative partners? If this is the case, you need to evaluate your standards to choose someone better next time. Here are a few traits you must look for in a partner:
Life can make people emotionally mature. The experiences you’ve had should positively prepare you to face the future, no matter how flawed you are. That said, you must not look for someone perfect but someone who is emotionally mature. This means that you must look for a partner willing to learn about who they are. They must learn to reflect on their past and change for the better.
Emotionally mature people are generally non-reactive, and they always think first before taking any action. They do not let their emotions cloud their judgment and use that to excuse their negative behavior. Lastly, they are self-assured and independent, meaning they do not need anyone to “fix” them.
Mutual respect in a relationship can go a long way. Lack of respect is one of the many reasons for failed marriages and relationships, as it’s also the start of cheating and abuse. But the good news is there are some ways to find out if a person is genuinely respectful.
For example, if you’re attending a speed dating event, a respectful person won’t just focus on talking about themselves. The conversation will be easy and light, and you will be allowed to share some details about yourself. In general, the signs of a respectful individual include:
- Willingness to listen
- Openness for opinions
- Takes your advice seriously
- Not leaving you hanging
- Trusting you truthfully
Honesty is a crucial element in all relationships. You won’t want to spend the rest of your life with someone who’s constantly lying to your face. Sadly, dishonesty is pretty common in many relationships.
Some couples believe that lying is sometimes needed to save relationships. Still, research shows that too many lies can be the downfall of a relationship. Building trust will become harder for the other partner if the other one is not being truthful frequently. While the effects of lying might not show right away, constant lies will gradually build anger and frustration, which can cause someone to fall out of love.
Apart from emotional maturity, openness is also a crucial trait to look for in a partner. You need to be with someone willing to accept feedback and advice as they know that it will make them a better person. When an individual is not ready to listen and change, that shows that they are not open for growth, which can affect you significantly.
Being with someone who’s not willing to grow can pull you down. It can even cause you to set aside your dreams and aspirations. On the contrary, a couple openly communicating themselves, reactions, and emotions can build a healthy and happy relationship that fosters growth, individually and as partners.
A person who is not independent is not ready for a relationship. People usually think that being in a relationship can teach them independence, but that is false. You have to find someone capable of caring for themselves without depending on anyone. Independence comes in different forms. For instance, if you want to find someone to spend the rest of your life with, you’ll need someone who is financially independent.
Don’t get it wrong, love can be the number one reason for being with someone, but that won’t put food on your table when you build a family.
Finding a partner with all these qualities will not be easy. It will be a bit harder, especially when you are vulnerable at times, but think of your future. Your happiness will highly depend on it, so be wise.